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Writer's pictureValentina | Leadership Coach

How To Redefine What Matters In 2023

What a year, eh? Here we are: last week of 2022 when it's probably a good idea to eat a vegetable and drink some water. It's also an opportunity to practice what I like to call 'tailored intentionality'. What do I mean by that? To me, it's the practice of being radically honest with ourselves about who we are in this moment, getting intentional about what matters to us, and tailoring our efforts towards our updated understanding of the life we're building.


In other words, we redefine what matters to us at this stage in our life considering where we are, how we're already living into what lights a fire in our bellies, and what we've learned. So, how do we practice tailored intentionality? Consider these 5 questions:


1. What matters to me today and why?


Explore your relationship with self, relationship with others, your understanding of personal leadership, your understanding of professional leadership, and your relationship to health.

For example, a gentle home base matters more to me today than when I was in my early twenties. I now know that it will make it easier to cultivate the nervous system flexibility I need to thrive out in the world and nourish my community.


2. If I had to prioritize one area of my life where I want to redefine what matters to me today compared to what mattered to me in the past, what would that area be and why?


Start with that one area to keep overwhelm at a minimum. You can ease your nervous system into updating its understanding of what's now physiologically safe for you to pursue.

For example, the YearCompass invites you to think about the following areas:

- personal life + family,

- career + studies,

- friends + community,

- relaxation + hobbies + entertainment,

- physical health + fitness,

- mental health + self-knowledge,

- habits that define you,

- your impact on the world

In my case, this year reminded me that I thrive in community relationships. As such, cultivating, strengthening, and nurturing my community is where I'll invest my energy in the New Year.


3. What changed for me this year in dreadful and/or wonderful ways?


If you had to give your January self an update, what would you let them know? The more honest we can be with ourselves, the more likely we are to get to the heart of what truly matters to us now.


4. How have any of these changes influenced my understanding of what used to matter to me and how do I redefine what matters to me now?


Notice what comes up and explore if there are goals that have changed for you or passions you've recently discovered. Also, notice how these questions are landing on the body and where you might be experiencing different sensations. Without judgement, I invite you to get curious about them.

For example, I never thought of myself as a particularly creative person because I didn't paint, sing, act, dance, or write professionally. However, this year, creative living became a treasured pillar in my life. It's helped me redefine my personal understanding of healthy living and self-leadership.


5. Based on what I know now and where I find myself today, what's negotiable and what's non-negotiable moving forward?


Knowing your negotiables and non-negotiables in different areas of your life, starting with the one you picked for this exercise, will give you clarity about what to redefine.

For example, on the one hand, considering my experience with endometriosis, adenomyosis, and medical gaslighting, being in personal and professional relationships that honour and respect that experience is non-negotiable for me. On the other, how I'll incorporate rest and play in my relationships to prevent burnout is negotiable.


Ps: did you already come up with a feeling goal for 2023? 10/10 invite you to check out this article after this exercise since both tools will help you thrive in the New Year.


For coaching support on redefining what matters to you and how to create systems to live into your purpose, passion, and potential, book a Discovery Call with me today!

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